Forget ‘Where is Carmen Sandiego?’ I have a bigger problem. Can anyone ‘I Spy’ my confidence please and thanks?
In my life so far, in my two plus decades, and more specifically in the last five years, I have come to realise that so much is not explained. There is so much people never tell you.
L – Living, laughing, loving and learning
I – implementing, improving and indebtedness (appreciation)
F – finding, figuring out and faith
E – embracing and enjoying
That is what I know now about life. That is what L.I.F.E is about in my eyes.
So with that in mind, on my hair journey so far I will tell you that personally no one warned me about the lost of confidence that may come with transitioning.
That’s right… WANTED: Confidence. Will pay a reward.
People speak ad nauseam (over and over and over again until it seems annoying 😉 ) about the confidence that is gained once you become full natural and once one embraces their natural kinks and curls, especially when they big chop or have attained a length goal, but prior to that point and for us transitioners, there is no talk of the lost of confidence.
That is not me saying that transitioners have no confidence, but mine has been shaken, and I’m sure some big choppers for the first few hours or days shared this experience.
But from my transitioning perspective, there are days when my hair goes in one and the frizz is at a minimal because I used my satin scarf to tame them and I feel happy with my waves. I am on top of the world. But then on days or by evenings when the frizzies have had enough and want to fly free and people are looking at me like ‘Where is your brush?’ I want to hide.
Or those days, when you style your hair and your loved ones look at you like, “You’re wearing your hair like that?” Me: Um…no! *goes back to the mirror, removes hair tie and starts again*
I love my hair don’t get me wrong, both the natural roots and the relaxed ends, but sometimes it is hard, especially when my mild psoriasis (skin condition) flares up because of stress or the weather or for no apparent reason. Those days, I miss hiding my edges and face with bangs and wispy relaxed hair. #Nolie
That said, as my hair continues to grow and I keep learning how to style it, I am happier and gaining back my confidence.
Therefore, I expect that by the time I am fully natural I will be a force to reckon with and no that is not me saying, I need to big chop, because I am NOT ready, that is just me saying, when I am fully natural, whenever that is, may God help whoever thinks to cross me about my natural hair!
*insert relevant proverb here* A word to the wise is enough…
But until then, I will rock my protective styles with confidence lol