When you go natural you better become part duck, because there is a lot of ‘ish’ you will hear that you better let roll off your back.
And best believe you will get these comments from people with relaxed hair, weaves, wigs, no hair and even natural hair.
- Here is my hair [insert photo] X months after big chop – Ok…but did you transition, did you have some length already when you big chopped, did you start from bald, this info matters, especially for the naturalista who sits staring wondering “So why my hair ain’t bloody well growing?”
2. Girl, you got good hair! – Ummm okay. Thanks? Hold that good hair talk, I know you meant it as a compliment but I’m not quite sure how to take it.
3. You are a product junkie – No, I’m a new natural. You wouldn’t tell a mother with her first baby that by six months she should be a pro and have him or her on a regimen, quit the experimenting and just deal with the kid, stupse. I pray to God that’s not what you would say. So see my hair as my baby and let me work through this figuring-out-what-she-likes phase without you judging.
4. You got time, money, patience, blah blah blah – Any of those lines, keep them! Please and thanks. Yes buying products to try is costly sometimes, but I have to learn, and I work for my money. Don’t worry bout my chequings and savings, study yours. Time? If I thought about all the time wasted in the hair salon every two weeks waiting for a treatment or every eight weeks for a relaxer and totaled that over the span of just one year, I am sure my natural hair care takes up less of my time. Again, don’t come for me. I must have patience…boo if you don’t have patience too this life ain’t for you. Patience is a virtue, natural or not, get some!
5. Your hair does grow so fast – Really? Really? Hardly anyone thinks their hair grows fast, especially naturals. But again, even if you think so, hush. You have no idea how much watering it takes to get my garden (curls) in order, and this is drought season. Study yours and get it together without focusing on mine. Just say, your hair is growing. Let me say, thanks!
6. If I had hair like yours… – HUSH ALREADY! When my scalp burning and sore, I don’t see you! When I got single-strand knots or tangles you don’t be there. When I use the strength of Samson and put my hair in a decent ponytail only for the hairband to pull a Delilah and betray me by snapping, I don’t see you. You do not know the struggle of my hair or the hair of others. Stop assuming from the outside.
7. You would look better if or You would look better with… – I don’t care if you are suggesting I would like better with relaxed hair, blonde hair, red hair, a bun, twists, whatever, SHUT YO MOUTH! You can say, I remember your straightened hair, do you miss it?; you can say, you ever thought of red hair?; you can say do you ever wear buns; but do not come at me with “Yuh know you would look better if…” Get out my face, DMs, WhatsApp and comments with that mess.
Love your hair please and thanks.
I’m over here trying hard with mine, I don’t need you tripping me up constantly with these little statements. They aren’t cute and they can really take the wind out of someone’s sails sometimes.
Got any more to add, comment and tell me.